did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
