seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize