Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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