spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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