She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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