i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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