everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
