I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he was CRYING into my vagina
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We don't watch enough power rangers
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So vagazzling was a success
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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