Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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