I just made out with a guy for $7.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Randomize
