guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
