what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
