u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize