There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize