My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
