What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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