I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
