ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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