I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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