So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize