Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize