He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
