I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
