Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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