her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she told me i tasted like america
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
