What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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