The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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