dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
