The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
