No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you had me at cake vodka
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize