if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
