Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
