Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
