I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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