Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
