Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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