I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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