He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i wish my penis had a tongue
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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