that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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