I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
