when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
