Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
