Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
