..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
