how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
