You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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