Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
