his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
