so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
