I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
