Sry I called you an 8
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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