sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize