remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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