no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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