How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
