Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
