So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
