yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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