You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
