You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
