Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
