which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
