Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
