this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
