I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
