i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
