he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
