My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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