eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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