Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Damn victory sex feels great
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
