She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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