Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My vagina is officially offended.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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