The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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