and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
